My Stories

This page contains three videos of me talking about my adult near-death experience. The first video was filmed in 2009 at the annual International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS) Conference in San Diego, California. The second video was filmed at the 4th Spiritual Retreat for Near Death Experiencers in St Louis in May of 2009. The third video was filmed in 2007 at the LA IANDS  Gathering, just three months before I suffered a major stroke (without an NDE).

I have also included a written statement of my NDE that is currently posted on the Near-Death Experiences and the Afterlife website.  My childhood experience is posted below as a dark prelude to the radiant adult NDE.

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Beverly Brodsky’s Adult NDE Testimony

Original Link

Somehow an unexpected peace descended upon me. I found myself floating on the ceiling over the bed looking down at my unconscious body. I barely had time to realize the glorious strangeness of the situation – that I was me but not in my body – when I was joined by a radiant being bathed in a shimmering white glow. Like myself, this being flew but had no wings. I felt a reverent awe when I turned to him; this was no ordinary angel or spirit, but he had been sent to deliver me. Such love and gentleness emanated from his being that I felt that I was in the presence of the Messiah.

Whoever he was, his presence deepened my serenity and awakened a feeling of joy as I recognized my companion. Gently he took my hand and we flew right through the window. I felt no surprise at my ability to do this. In this wondrous presence, everything was as it should be.

Beneath us lay the beautiful Pacific Ocean … But my attention was now directed upward, where there was a large opening leading to a circular path. Although it seemed to be deep and far to the end, a white light shone through and poured out into the gloom to the other side where the opening beckoned. It was the most brilliant light I had ever seen, although I didn’t realize how much of its glory was veiled from the outside. The path was angled upward, obliquely, to the right. Now still hand in hand with the angel, I was led into the opening of the small, dark passageway.

I then remember traveling a long distance upward toward the light. I believe that I was moving very fast, but this entire realm seemed to be outside of time. Finally, I reached my destination. It was only when I emerged from the other end that I realized that I was no longer accompanied by the being who had brought me there. But I wasn’t alone. There, before me, was the living presence of the light. Within it I sensed an all-pervading intelligence, wisdom, compassion, love, and truth. There was neither form nor sex to this perfect being. It, which I shall in the future call he, in keeping without our commonly accepted syntax, contained everything, as white light contains all the colors of a rainbow when penetrating a prism. And deep within me came an instant and wondrous recognition: I, even I, was facing God.

I immediately lashed out at him with all the questions I had ever wondered about; all the injustices I had seen in the physical world. I don’t know if I did this deliberately, but I discovered that God knows all your thoughts immediately and responds telepathically. My mind was naked; in fact, I became pure mind. The ethereal body which I had traveled in through the tunnel seemed to be no more; it was just my personal intelligence confronting that Universal Mind, which clothed itself in a glorious, living light that was more felt that seen, since no eye could absorb its splendor.

I don’t recall the exact content of our discussion; in the process of return, the insights that came so clearly and fully in Heaven were not brought back with me to Earth. I’m sure that I asked the question that had been plaguing me since childhood about the sufferings of my people. I do remember this: There was a reason for everything that happened, no matter how awful it appeared in the physical realm. And within myself, as I was given the answer, my own awakening mind now responded in the same manner:

“Of course,” I would think, “I already know that. How could I ever have forgotten!”

Indeed, it appears that all that happens is for a purpose, and that purpose is already known to our eternal self.

In time the questions ceased, because I suddenly was filled with all the Being’s wisdom. I was given more than just the answers to my questions; all knowledge unfolded to me, like the instant blossoming of an infinite number of flowers all at once. I was filled with God’s knowledge, and in that precious aspect of his Beingness, I was one with him. But my journey of discovery was just beginning.

Now I was treated to an extraordinary voyage through the universe. Instantly we traveled to the center of stars being born, supernovas exploding, and many other glorious celestial events for which I have no name. The impression I have now of this trip is that it felt like the universe is all one grand object woven from the same fabric. Space and time are illusions that hold us to our physical realm; out there all is present simultaneously. I was a passenger on a divine spaceship in which the Creator showed me the fullness and beauty of all of his Creation.

The last thing that I saw before all external vision ended was a glorious fire – the core and center of a marvelous star. Perhaps this was a symbol for the blessing that was now to come to me. Everything faded except for a richly full void in which That and I encompassed All that is. Here, I experienced, in ineffable magnificence, communion with the light being. Now I was filled with not just all knowledge, but also with all love. It was as if the light were poured in and through me. I was God’s object of adoration; and from his/our love I drew life and joy beyond imagining. My being was transformed; my delusions, sins, and guilt were forgiven and purged without asking; and now I was love, primal being, and bliss. And, in some sense, I remain there, for Eternity. Such a union cannot be broken. It always was, is, and shall be.

Suddenly, not knowing how or why, I returned to my broken body. But miraculously, I brought back the love and the joy. I was filled with an ecstasy beyond my wildest dreams. Here, in my body, the pain had all been removed. I was still enthralled by a boundless delight. For the next two months, I remained in this state, oblivious to any pain.

I felt now as if I had been made anew. I saw wondrous meanings everywhere; everything was alive and full of energy and intelligence.

Although it’s been 20 years since my heavenly voyage, I have never forgotten it. Nor have I, in the face of ridicule and disbelief, ever doubted its reality. Nothing that intense and life-changing could possibly have been a dream or hallucination. To the contrary, I consider the rest of my life to be a passing fantasy, a brief dream, that will end when I again awaken in the permanent presence of that giver of life and bliss.

Beverly Singer’s childhood Experience

When I was 7 or 8 years old, I was taken to the hospital with my sister, Ruth Singer, who is a year-and-a-half older than me, to have my tonsils removed.  I had no previous problem; this was done “preventively” since doctors then believed the tonsils to have no function.  Since I am now in my senior years, and have long since seen both parents cross over, I can’t say the exact year or which hospital we were taken to in order to check their records, should they still exist.  Only Ruth has survived, and she has no memory of these events.

I have no conscious memory at all of the time that passed between sitting in the back seat of my parents’ car to go to the hospital and awakening from a strange dream in the room that I shared with my sister.  In the dream I was in a heavenly landscape in which I walked through clouds which touched the ground in a field filled with delightfully beautiful flowers.  I had a feeling of great peace and joy. I didn’t see Ruth there, but when I “woke up” I said something to her and she shot up in bed, in great alarm and asked me:  “Bev, are we dead?”  I was surprised by her question and teased her a little that I thought we were, although I didn’t really believe this to be true.  She then started to cry and went to the mirror to look at her face to see if she was really there.  At some point later my parents came into the room to see what was going on.  I remember telling my mother that I had “amnesia.”  She was surprised that I knew such a big word.  Ruth eventually calmed down.

I don’t remember much about my early childhood, so I can’t answer the question as to whether or not I changed.

I can only report what happened from this point on.  I was very precocious and serious.  I read the encyclopedia from cover to cover,

first the children’s edition, then the adult World Book.  I devoured books that were supposed to be far above my level.  I think I was in third grade when I was accused of plagiarism by my English teacher for spicing up a paper with an analogy to a Greek myth.  I explained that I was reading a book on the topic (Bullfinch’s?), knew all the characters and saw the similarities to the situation.  She was stunned but convinced that this really was original writing.  In my early teens I read a great deal of Shakespeare.  I remember my best friend warning me to not let other kids my age see this.  Somehow I couldn’t disguise this completely.  Everybody despised me as an intellectual and “too smart” for a girl.

At age 8 or 9 I became very depressed about the subject of evil and injustice.  Being Jewish, I was shocked to hear about the Holocaust, although I didn’t understand its full import until I was much older.  I never could understand why history was full of wars, hatred and prejudice.  I remember spending many sleepless nights mourning the fate of mankind.

I was also a very absorbed and imaginative person.  I loved to lose myself in fantasy worlds of my own or other’s imaginings.  At some point in my teens I stopped reading novels because I found my boundaries so porous that I would immerse myself into all the characters to the point of feeling all their pain, joy and desires.  This was true even for murderers or other “bad” characters.  However, with real people I was painfully shy and self-conscious.  As I grew older I became friendless and increasingly tormented.   I often thought I had an inferiority/superiority complex.  I felt inferior because some connection was missing inside, but I was so smart (and competitive) in school that I knew I was superior intellectually to my peers.

In my late teens I began reading about Edgar Cayce, parapsychology and Eastern religions.  I loved the psychedelic era, with its radical politics and music.  I really thought we were going to change the world overnight. I was a Vietnam War protester and a feminist.  When I was 19 I left home, estranged from my then-widowed mother, who was distraught at the changes taking place in her rebellious daughter.  At 20 I moved out to California, planning to hitchhike up the coast from Los Angeles to San Francisco, when I had a motorcycle accident which led to my adult NDE and a complete transformation of the person I had grown to be.

I have often wondered what happened during the missing time and what events preceded the dream in the heavenly garden.  Nearly two years ago I was a client of my cousin, Susan Kahn Odhner, who was attending the Barbara Brennan School in New York City, which taught healing techniques described in her book “Hands of Light.”   Susan is a former psychologist and had done other types of spiritual healing prior to these studies.  Since the sessions involved entering a state of calm and openness similar to that used in hypnosis, I tried to regress back to the hospital stay and lost week.  The following is taken from notes from my journal dated December 31, 1993:

I remember counting down for the anesthesia, from 10 down to 7 or 6.  I was on a cold table or stretcher.  Then I floated into a radiant world filled with flowers–layered in slightly sloping hills.  There was a Hall of Knowledge, like a cathedral.  I was told I had to go back.  I asked if I could remain a little longer.  I was told I could be in both places at once.  This is what I did for that week.  I saw myself out of my body on the ceiling, then saw Ruth waiting on a cart like I had been on for anesthesia when they were done with me.

So, where was the fear?  (I had been so terrified of these memories that I had resisted going back in a previous session.)  I went back to the Hall of Knowledge.  I saw and felt a black wave coming to cover the Earth, like in the Dylan song “A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall”–the roar of the apocalyptic ocean.  Within this wave, which I felt was created by human thought, were fear, anger, pain, rage, injustice, despair and all negative things.  But I saw a small white circle inside–like a bubble in the wave.  I recognized this as the escape, like the Yang circle within the Yin darkness.  I think what happened afterwards was that I didn’t understand this message or got “swallowed up” by the wave, hence the negativity of my teen and early years.

To change the ending I took my younger self through the bubble in this session.  We were now into a realm of beauty, love and light–original perfection.  Although it didn’t seem so in the darkness, this is the realm of true power.  I then saw the sun move up next to the Earth and bathe it in Light. Then I saw that both the dark wave and perfect Light exist simultaneously–it’s all a matter of what you choose to focus on!  So I took the sun and threw it into the wave, a rather violent act that shocked me.

Susan said she felt the blackness is a forgetting, a thought form given power by millennia of suffering people. It is also a part of our experience of life, with the body’s limitations, our apparent separation from spirit and instinctive behaviors like fear and anger.

At the end of the session I gave myself a symbol to remember this truth.  I came up with a curtain–black, thick and velvety, which descends on consciousness, blocking out the more powerful light.  I created a string to lift it up, like the shining of the mind as perfect mirror in the Chinese sutra, so that I could ask the Light for help in the midst of my own darkness in life situations.

I asked my sister if she remembered anything unusual after our surgery, and she didn’t.  I then told her what about the dream and her reaction, and she didn’t believe it. She thought the whole thing was part of my dream.  If it was so important, she asked, why didn’t I talk about it before? Of course I did, but everyone ignored me.  Neither she nor my mother believed my more classic NDE which occurred when I was 20, and I didn’t talk about it to anyone again until I hooked up with IANDS in 1989.

In my meditations during the past several years I’ve taken on the task of healing the earth; lifting the sparks of holiness within.  I’ve channeled Heavenly light into the dark places around the earth and in areas that are troubled.  I know I am not alone in this task, that there are many Lightworkers lifting the vibration of the planet in many ways.  I feel the inner path to be most effective for me, because, as Einstein said, you can’t solve the problems of the world from the same level that they were created.